Communication has become so identified with marriage and its problems that many couples come into my office and say, “We have a communication problem,” instead of just saying, “We have a marital problem.”  They have learned this from marital therapists. It so happens that the pioneers of modern marital therapy

In his authoritatively titled op-ed, “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person,” the novelist, Alain de Botton, whips a mélange of personal impressions, empirically unfounded but presented as facts, and assorted well-worn items of psychobabble to serve up a conclusion that is false. I am a scientifically-minded psychologist who has