Yes! Absolutely! Love at first sight happens…sometimes.
Not as often as we wish it did. Not as often as we think it does.
Let’s start with something that most of us have experienced now and then: like at first sight. You meet a new group of people—in a new job, new class, etc—and they quickly sort themselves out. There are a few who immediately put you off. Then there is the large majority who are OK; you can take them or leave them. And then there’s maybe one person with whom you feel a special kind of click—that you’re kindred spirits, that you two really get each other, that you’re on the same wavelength. And they feel that exact same feeling at the exact same time. And sure enough, you become best friends. That’s like at first sight.
If like at first sight happens between two people who also find each other sexually attractive, then you have love at first sight. It does happen. But here’s the thing. Sexual attraction can be so powerful that it can lead us to kid ourselves. Because we are so powerfully attracted, we feel that it’s love at first sight, we think we feel that click that signals that we are on the same wavelength, when actually we are not on the same wavelength at all. So what we are experiencing is in reality lust at first sight, not love at first sight.
So then, how do we make sure that what we are feeling love at first sight and not just lust at first sight? That’s hard to do in the first flush of romance. Generally we have to wait until the blush is off the rose sexually to accurately perceive that we and this person we thought we were in love with are actually not on the same wavelength. But that’s OK because romance can be great fun while it lasts. For lasting love, though, we need not just a strong sexual bond but best friendship. Or to put it mathematically:
Best friendship + sex = lasting love.
Copyright © by Sam R. Hamburg, 2025. All rights reserved.