I get it: Ever since November 6, 2024 you have felt increasing anxiety, depression, outrage, dread, and despair. Me too. And it’s not just us. The election of Donald Trump to the presidency of the United States for a second term has caused real and sometimes extreme psychological distress for many Americans. Psychotherapists all over the country, including me, have received frantic phone calls from clients, old and new, desperate to find emotional relief in a political situation that has quite suddenly turned catastrophic. To take just one example of many, a former client of mine, a middle- aged woman, called me complaining that for the first time in more than 30 years she was experiencing severe, full-blown panic attacks. To get through the next four years intact, all of us are going to have to learn and use what psychologists call emotional self-regulation. If you just follow a few simple rules, these next years will be much easier to bear.
Rule 1. Face up to reality.
The first step in solving any problem is to acknowledge it in all its severity, and accept it. Things are as bad as you think they are, possibly much worse. We have to accept the fact that our country is currently ruled, and for the next four years will likely be ruled, by a cruel, corrupt, malign, narcissistic psychopath, who is trying to change our country from a democratic republic into a dictatorship in which he wields all the power. And there is a chance he will succeed.
Rule 2. Keep up with the news but don’t wallow in it.
Let’s start with cortisol. Cortisol is the crucially important hormone in our body that prepares it (that is, us) to deal with danger. It is the “fight or flight” hormone that mobilizes us in dangerous situations. So cortisol is essential to our physical survival. On the other hand, chronically high levels of cortisol can cause a panoply of psychological and physical problems, including: weight gain, insulin resistance leading to type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, bone loss (osteoperosis), muscle weakeness, fatigue and exhaustion.
Every time we learn about some evil thing that Trump has done, and in response we feel any of the negative emotions—outrage, fear, depression, whatever—that reaction is accompanied by a surge of cortisol released by our adrenal cortex and then sent to every part of our body. I understand that we are all scouring the news to find some item that will give us hope; but more often what we get are things that make us feel angry or fearful or depressed. The key thing for us to do—not only for our mental health but our physical survival—is minimize our exposure to news that will increase the amount of cortisol circulating through our body. One way to do this is to simply not look at the news every day. You won’t be losing anything. Back in the late 1970s and early 1980s, before the internet, I would go to Europe for a week or two at a time. My only source of news was the International Herald Tribune. But it was hard to find, and I’d be cut off from the latest news for days at a time. Then when I finally did find a copy of the newspaper and got to read it, I realized that I had not missed very much. You won’t miss very much at all if you elect to have a few news-free days during the week.
Another way to minimize exposure is to look at the news online every day, scan the headlines, but read only those stories that won’t make you upset. That is, in fact, what I do. It mostly works, but sometimes it backfires when I do read something negative. And then I do take a vacation from the news.
- Do not spend the next four years waiting for them to end. Stay rooted in the
Present.
This is related to acceptance. A watched pot never boils. Your impatience for the Trump era to end will not make it end sooner. It’s important for all of us to live in the present, not the future. We must realize that the future is utterly unpredictable. Just think of all the things that have happened to you in the past year and in the world at large. How many of them could you have predicted? Zero—or very close to it. Maybe the worst will happen, maybe it won’t. We just don’t know. And, anyway, worrying about the future is not problem-solving; it’s nothing more than a superstitious behavior. What I mean by that is this: If I rap my knuckles against my wooden cabinet and say, “The Mets will win the pennant this season,” you know and I know that my knocking on wood will have no influence over how the Mets perform. So why do I do it? Because it gives me the illusion of control over some future event that I actually have no control over. That’s the definition of a superstitious behavior—something you do that makes you feel you have control, when you don’t. And that’s exactly what worry is. So if worrying is out as a way to cope…then what? Well, first of all it’s important for each of us, every day, to focus our attention on what is rewarding to us, life-giving, what we are passionate about, what we love. Whatever it is for you, hitting baseballs, playing the piano—and of course the people you love. You should be devoting your time and attention to them. The world will go the way the world goes, but you will be engaged with what is most precious, fulfilling and, most importantly, sustaining for you. And there’s another thing:
- DO something! Do anything! Do as much as you can do!
The recipe for depression is helplessness. That means that anything you do that gives you a sense of agency, effectiveness and accomplishment in attaining an important objective is counter-depressive. There are many things you can actually do that can have a real effect on the political situation in this country. Here is just a partial list:
- a) Get out on the street! It really does make a difference if people get out there and demonstrate. Large demonstrations are covered on the national news. Even small demonstrations get local coverage, and some of them—think of all the demonstrations in front of Tesla dealerships—get national coverage too. (The Tesla demonstrations are at least part of the reason that Tesla cars have stopped selling and Tesla stock keeps falling.) It’s heartening and exhilarating to be out and among a group of people, sometimes an enormous one, who you know think and feel the same way you do. And it’s a great way to meet new people! The best resource for finding out what demonstrations and other activities are happening near you is the grassroots organization, Indivisible. Indivisible was started by a group of former congressional staffers and it has been responsible for organizing some of the biggest demonstrations nationwide. Their website is https://indivisible.org. Another group that has been active and effective in organizing demonstrations nationwide is the 50501 Movement. Their website is
https://www.fiftyfifty.one. Become a member of both of these groups, and start participating with them.
- b) Join other pro-democracy, civic organizations. The League of Women Voters—you don’t have to be a woman—is a good place to start.
- c) Consider running for office. This is not for everyone, of course, but if you’ve ever entertained the daydream of doing it, take it seriously. You can start small, like running for school board, and go from there. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez was bartending and waiting tables before she was elected to Congress.
- d) Call or write your Senators or Congressman. Members of the Senate and the House of Representatives understand that one constituent who contacts them with an opinion stands for many other constituents who hold that same opinion. That means that your call or email counts for a lot more than you might have thought it does. You can find a listing of all the members of the House here: https://www.house.gov/representatives
Please note that you can type your zip code into a box in the upper right hand corner to find out exactly who represents your district.
And here is a listing of the phone numbers of all 100 members of the Senate:
https://www.senate.gov/general/resources/pdf/senators_phone_list.pdf
There is a website that makes it super easy to phone your member of Congress:
They even will supply you with a script for the topic you would like to discuss.
When you call your member of the House of Representatives, you are likely to get an actual person answering the phone. These are generally very young people who are polite and patient. Even if your representative is a Republican, and you are being critical, that young person you are speaking with will politely take down what you are saying. I have called every single Republican member of Congress (see below) and have received just one rude response from the person who answered the phone. If you get voicemail, you can leave a pretty long message. (When you call your senator you are more likely to get voicemail than a human being.) Every member of the House and of the Senate has a website with an email link. I have been told that writing and mailing an old fashioned letter will get you more attention from a member of Congress than an email will. I don’t know if that is true, but don’t hesitate to try it. I am sure it is worth the cost of the stamp to do it. And finally if your Republican member of Congress is holding an open house in their home district—or the Democrats are holding it for that Republican who is too chicken to show up—you should definitely show up and blow off some steam.
- e) Call or write every member of Congress, not just your own. Although they are more sensitive to the comments of their own constituents, members of Congress are also influenced by calls from outside their constituency. Such calls bring home to them just how important certain issues are to all Americans. I recently called every
Republican member of Congress to express my outrage at the illegal abduction, and jailing in El Salvador, of Kilmar Abrego Garcia. I actually got a callback from the assistant to a Republican congressman from Texas who wanted to hear more about my views.
Do whatever you can. Whatever you do will make a difference. And it will help you feel better and sustain you through these dark times. Although I cannot predict the future, I have faith: We will get through this!
Copyright © 2025 by Sam R. Hamburg